Surrendering to the depths of perception is infinite, just like the abyss of infinite experiences.
How far do we descend into this abyss? How much do we allow ourselves to be immersed in it? Ultimately, how much we have been allowed to feel and explore represents the amount of spent inexhaustible source of the developmental capacity of homo sapiens.
Among the baby’s first communicative contact with the environment is communication through open or closed fists.
A closed fist is a determined natural impulse where the child is not yet ready for more intense communication and experience.
Hence the need for calm, silence, care.
One step further.
If we pay attention to the child’s closed fingers and toes, we realize how and when he opens them and for that we really try to change the contact of contact with the child, we see a new breadth of the relationship.
When the fingers are open or in expansion, let us add an impulse in the form of movement, voice, touch, gaze, smell. Not before and no more adding information and also no forcibly unraveling or just stroking.
Anyone interested in why, you are invited to dive into the text below
As parents, caregivers can regulate their involvement and the signals given to the child, subtracted and added according to the dynamics of the relationship that is constantly happening and unfolding between the child and the parent. How much and how fast / slow a child spreads his fingers is an actual indicator of the child’s pace at which he can and is able to accept our stimuli. We can pay attention to this and harmonize and navigate at this pace.
There is room for intense presence, mindfulness, letting go, and holding the space for the child to place the happenings within themselves, to get out of themselves outward, and to show the need for even more.
We can learn how to observe a child and see how it literally processes, connects, emerges before our eyes and under our hands. We are vigilant, responsive to his pace, playful and above all we know how to withdraw, so that he can enter into a relationship with us more and more, but not that he can barely catch all our strong incentives.
You can check for yourself the addition and subtraction of impulses and the connection with the child’s well-being.
When we get into a state where the child is holding his fists and laughing at the same time – we are actually witnessing that the child has not fully activated a given field of perception and placement, but still goes on the sampling path to follow our perception with imperfectly placed perception. over-intensive guidance and invitation to the world (there is room here for parents to withdraw their enthusiasm, their surprise when we place a toy in front of it to observe it, but we actually play with it ourselves).
We can be silent and activate in ourselves a patient observation of when the child will perceive the object and how he will study it.
With this, we are very present and alert.
With this relationship and the space this relationship establishes, the fists open and elicit spontaneous intense kicking and movement. This comes from his will and need for more and is a completely different information and neural connection if he spreads his fingers due to a reflex because we stroked his arm or foot. Only they close again immediately after opening.
With too much intensity of pointing objects and gossiping, a chaotic space is established. The child is physiologically unable to process more information simultaneously and is not yet able to respond to it simultaneously. This is also why all these incentives are superficially accepted and processed (processed).
The child wants to follow us and also follows us, but due to the excessive amount of simultaneous perceptions, this space does not allow him to fully accept the information, to place it and to express it through the bodily response (reflected in the coordination of resuscitation of muscles stretch). As a result, the process of maturation regulates muscle tone is established regardless of all the information and experience received. As the process of life goes on, the coordination and functionality of organizing bending, stretching, bending, stretching, contracting, rotating, turning, lifting, lowering, sitting… in these cases takes place with suboptimal utilization of the functional structure of man.
This completely spontaneous natural process happens precisely by connecting the action of the reaction. The child uses reflex movements for his actions. The way in which the process of coordinating reflex movements to control movements can take place depends to a large extent on the experience from the environment.
This experience is given to him by his parents and guardians.
This space of the first experience can take place in such a way that the child exhausts the given potential of the genome and also in such a way that he does not use all the given possibilities.
The child places the perceived information about the world in his response, regardless of the space available for the experience.
We can better understand this field to align with the infant’s cognitive perceptual capacity to build development to achieve the full placement and expression of the self-regulatory process with which he was born.
However, he may not achieve full placement and expression of self-regulation, so he does not open his fists yet, but he is still interested and laughing. So this seduces us and we overlook this crucial moment of his.
The child is always ready, he wants to follow, because the life force drives him straight into it. He’s alive and he’s potent, so he goes on, he goes up and he goes out into the world.
Yeah, they all walked and lived somehow. But we are here to distinguish it from such a superficial experience. We see more and can offer a space that gives the young person opportunities to the fullest.
That is why we need to turn on the regulation of our own “inputs” in relation to the child.
You’ve all heard them look at you during examinations and ask you questions, but is your child already opening his fists? How it opens them and why it is so important, however, is really considered important by few.
As a child realizes the world with unopened fists, he more and more places the experience of an over-intense environment as completely normal with increased tension, which is reflected in increased muscle tone.
The child is always trying to keep up, but connections that are not functional are activated prematurely. So we have to give him time, no matter what. No matter when he should have shown something.
Why? Because the baby accepts the forced experience of acceptance and approval, but is essentially not prepared to place so much information in himself at the same time. We overlook this moment. We don’t pay attention to him. The child is constantly learning and, even with too intense communication and encouragement, which of course we also pass on in good faith, because they say everywhere that he must have as many incentives as possible, as early as possible. But let’s forget about the developmental process and the child’s dynamics with which it can accept this. We need to change the way, give time and find different ways of communication.
Here, only parents and guardians can choose to learn about this content precisely because of the knowledge of the importance of early stimuli, how crucial the method is in everything. The old saying goes, less is more.
Are we here because of the goal or because of the process? It is the process that offers the breadth of development and exploits the given potential. No goals and instructions to them.
But no matter which way, the baby will always somehow move forward.
He learns to follow, to respond. When our contemporary emotional “inputs” are a whole flood. When we rush to get excited in front of him, we rush to show him, to tell him what to notice and how to go to make him succeed, he is completely overwhelmed by our condition, which, however, literally suffocates him.
When we reduce such an intense space, we can realize how much more the child will participate and be active.
If he has given a lot so far, he will give even more this way. Conversely, the more months a child has taken in an over-intensive space, the more challenging the space of perception will be when it comes to the new challenge. He will run with his eyes, turn his head rigidly and above all scream, make jerky and rigid movements, even resist.
He doesn’t really know what to do with this empty space and actually needs to move it literally to move forward from it. To show him something with his voice, will and even gesture, and if that is not the case – he no longer observes so curiously and even less, until he cries convulsively in a state of peace and silence, but in fact it would not be necessary to find himself in such a situation. condition.
He has no choice but to shout about proximity and contact, because he does not dare to turn left or right, turn his head a little more and find interesting things, find those he would study himself. This is where the link to healthy / unhealthy attachments and addictions lies. Here lies the connection to a superficial sense of self, to disengagement within oneself, of dissatisfaction… all this grows with the child. But in fact, it would not be necessary to go in that direction.
With an over-intensive space for which we have not harmonized our observation of the child’s will and ways of searching and we overwhelm him with our feelings, experiences and solutions, the child learns that by screaming something comes before him or is moved somewhere else.
Later, when the child is older, it may be easier to notice that he is somewhere hard, angry, rebellious, and the like. These are all perfectly healthy responses to overly intense attitudes and interactions in the direction of communication, gaze, movement, feeding, gossiping, and later demanding desired behavior. He resists the over-intensive space more and more, as long as there is a healthy will in it for self-development, authentic expression and the uniqueness of its essence. However, we can “tame” the child, bend according to our views and expectations “
Why not develop yourself further and get to know the breadth of the relationship with which we can work together and achieve the desired behavior and thus the expected goals.