When we learn to dose different forms of feeling and perception, these are the first clear boundaries of safe development and expansion of the potential of development capacity.
Too much sublime energy of caressing, rejoicing, laughing, gossiping from an adult to a baby or a child, doesn’t really offer a simultaneous relationship and cooperation.
Adults find it easier to distinguish and understand more. Therefore, we can also wait and observe what is constantly evolving in relation to the younger person we are involved in. By doing so, we teach patience that elevates self-activation into an active relationship that builds that is understanding and loving. Which is not to say that there is no disagreement and resentment or tumultuous communication.
A baby cannot distinguish so quickly and so many stimuli at the same time. Adults can willingly raise awareness and hold the space for this to be established in the young person. When a baby holds his fists, there is too much information given to him that his nervous system is unable to accept despite our careful loving treatment. If we insist here, we are in the zone of the ego of the parent, who by unconscious actions proves a loving relationship, which, in essence, excludes the child (absence of a simultaneous developmental process).
We may be in denying the perception of a call within ourselves after a change, but we cling to habits. Habits we learn don’t actually benefit. Despite the fact that we have learned the other way and accepted a different reaction from the child to the new entry into the relationship, we cannot abandon the old way, which clearly shows us the child’s reaction, which we consider undesirable.
So we keep repeating the same things that make a child cry and we rush to calm him down after that. What a child can do is yell even more and later resist even more.
But we can do something different than always and the child’s response will be just as different. We can really do that when we listen to the moment and what we are doing. We take an interest in this and start to establish rather than operate automatically.
It is only when we calm down and approach the baby’s pulse of perception and respond to it that: the
baby’s fists spread, he begins to move willingly and kick with helpless hands and small feet. All these small movements are a prerequisite for the baby to obtain the necessary information that triggers the processes of self-regulation.
A child’s restlessness and a hurricane of emotions rolls through space and time, like a hurricane, a mighty sea wave, a wild river. When we allow this state and limit it to an area of safe operation (determine the space and time – remove unsuitable objects or take the child to a suitable place where the storm can run wild until calming down. We are then sensually present and give a clear limit her and will not collapse.