The child is often overdressed, fed to the throat, but his life force pushes the processes of regulation – he has to cool down, he has to burp, he has to vomit what went too “not”, he has to shout, he has to protest, object / confront.
Many times the only thing on our minds is that he is not cold and that he will not be hungry without feeling how much he is really capable of carrying. We look at the boards measuring the quantities fed, the time of feeding, the layers of clothing. However, we are not really interested in the fact that the need for feeding takes place by itself and the child demands and is hungry when he is – it is also necessary to take into account the dynamics of genetic predisposition of parents and not just measurements of how normal it is to eat or weigh. We omit the process of natural levers of self-feeding and add or feed to time and quantity. We are not receptive to the diversity of this dynamic process, which is different from day to day, and we try to control, condition and routine it. It just doesn’t really go.
Here in this range is the field of establishing dependent needs to calm down only if we feed or if they save us.
In the face of these primary needs, it is good to calm down. Yet the animal is not as soon as it stops racing or is fighting.
The mother can always calm the atmosphere and understand the feeding process as a natural lever of connection and regulation. Often, however, these primary impulses are exploited for the benefit and power of the child’s dominance or control.
We put a pacifier in his mouth – it can be coated with something. We can force food intake from holding the child by the chin to what has been done, to encouraging him to open his mouth while animating him or reading fairy tales, showing picture books and hunting airplanes and birds. Why? Because the fear of hunger is too strong and satiety is associated with well-being and that we are good parents.
In essence, in this way we discourage the authenticity and upliftment of self-regulatory processes, which also include self-healing and feeling – an intuitive feeling of what works well for us and what harms us when we eat.
Why are we sad if a child spits food at the introduction.? There is absolutely no need for this, if we understand that everything, before he first takes in, also because of the urge of life and survival, he will first beat and spit in his mouth to taste and perceive and prepare food to swallow. The theory teaches well why we grind food in our mouths. Child – a young man knows quite intuitively what to accept and what not.
Because we do not see this, we do not take into account and satisfy our own concern for the concern that he will not be hungry and other… and the process of self-healing is driven in other directions. Of course, we can literally ask a child because he has nothing. He can spit indefinitely and not accept and resist until the pressures and abuses, the manipulation of him, subside. In essence, he is calling for a permissible space of self-control, which we literally take away from him with urges.
- vtaknjena doubts,
- inserted breast and holding on to it until delivery,
- pushed food into hands and mouth,
- insisting on swallowing food by pulling a spoon over the upper lip,
- control of feeding speed and amount of feeding,
- delaying feeding – determining, there is no time yet, it is enough, diverting attention
We are talking about a period of development where self-regulation and self-learning are established through testing and learning about diversity.
It is about cooperation in a relationship that constantly reveals and teaches – a two-way developmental process – teaches consideration, cooperation, respect for intimate boundaries, will. It teaches tolerance, indulgence. A higher developed being does not fall into conflict and struggle with a lower developed brain (child). Higher-developed brains can allow clear healthy boundaries because of hair experience, where less-developed brains can learn from experience.
If we are afraid that a child will choke because he cannot swallow, this is a completely different reality. As a consideration, when a child reaches for something on his own, he does not swallow automatically, but grinds it very carefully in his mouth and learns. During this beating, spit out the bad warnings and grind the good ones on. He thus develops the ability given to him to not only swallow and suffocate in the process. When he gets bigger and reaches for bigger things he will know how as he will work through experience. However, if we always feed him only liquid food, it makes perfect sense that he lacks the necessary experience and when he is older he has problems because we have taught him to just open his mouth and swallow.
“We distinguish when a child resists and is unable to, because of his fear and concern, which does not allow us to move in a new way, resists him in one way or another, from the fact that he does not do otherwise because of the already established pattern of action. and is also able to establish a pattern of regulation – a breakthrough.
Even in the case when due to the processes of delivery, birth and experience immediately after birth, his nervous system has not yet matured and receives weak maturation information – tonic breakthrough, where an organic flow of activating processes is established in contact with gravity and the resulting center of gravity.
When we offer the right environment to regulate the processes, the child literally starts with all the power in self-development forward – the development breakthrough.
In case it does not experience this for various reasons, it also develops along the path of established habits and patterns as it should be. Because this potential of development capacity is overlooked, it only develops in the individual in a reduced way, but it could be fully developed. It is necessary to find the input of regulation and offer time to experience without determining when it is enough and how it should take place.